


Dear Ms. Lounds

by TreacleA



Series: "How I Met Your Murder Father" [2]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Cracky Shit, Email Correspondence, M/M, Murder Husbands On The Continent, OC POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 17:30:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17329361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreacleA/pseuds/TreacleA
Summary: "I know you have said in previous articles that you believe them to be living in Europe now, perhaps in Germany or France, using Dr. Lecter’s considerable private funds to rent properties under assumed names. Well, I am here to let you know - that I believe you are absolutely correct!!!!AND I BELIEVE IT BECAUSE I THINK THEY ARE NOW LIVING IN A HOUSE JUST DOWN THE ROAD FROM ME!!!"





	Dear Ms. Lounds

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by [this tweet](https://twitter.com/GoatOkami/status/1081856743037124609). That's the only excuse I have for it!

To: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
From: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
Date: June 12 2016 19:00  
Subject: Possible Sighting Of The Murder Husbands

  
Dear Ms Lounds,  
  
Let me just begin by saying that I have been a huge fan and subscriber to your website for many many years, and adore and admire your work. I think you are one of my favourite journalists and I have the utmost respect for your professionalism, bravery and courage, particularly when It comes to the some of the very difficult and dangerous situations you have found yourself in over the years. 

I have emailed you several times in the past, with ideas for articles and information on some stories that I thought you might have missed, but please do not mistake this email for another one of those.

I have always followed your coverage of the Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham story very closely, particularly all of the investigative work you have done since their supposed “deaths” last year. I know you have said in previous articles that you believe them to be living in Europe now, perhaps in Germany or France, using Dr. Lecter’s considerable private funds to rent properties under assumed names. 

Well, I am here to let you know - that I believe you are absolutely correct!!!!  
  
AND I BELIEVE IT BECAUSE I THINK THEY ARE NOW LIVING IN A HOUSE JUST DOWN THE ROAD FROM ME IN SOUTHERN FRANCE!!!

I am almost certain that it is them, but before I send you more information I want your absolute assurance that you will include my name in your publication as the source and credit any or all pictures I supply you with with my name.

I await your reply with baited breath,

Louise Draper

 

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_ To: louise.draper99@gmail.com _  
_From: autoresponder@tattle-crime.com_  
_ Date: June 12 2016 19:01_  
_Subject: RE: Possible Sighting Of The Murder Husbands_

_ This in an automatic reply, please do not respond to this email. _

_Freddie Lounds is out of the office right now, but will reply to you as soon as she returns from assignment. If you would like to advertise or promote your business on Tattle-Crime.com, please contact: marketing@tattle-crime.com._  
  
_In the meantime, why not check out the latest issue at: Tattle-Crime.Com_

 

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To: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
From: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
Date: June 14 2016 20:16  
Subject: Surveillance underway!

  
Hi Ms Lounds,

I haven’t yet received a reply from you, I have to assume that you’re working undercover right now. It really is most important I talk to you. 

I have walked past the property I believe The Murder Husbands are living in several times now. I have been very careful and stealthy, I wear my earbuds and walk my dog real slowly and pretend I’m listening to music when really I am filming EVERYTHING. There is a fountain at the front of the house that has been recently filled and turned on, and the other day someone came and put two stone STAGS on the gateposts which is the thing that made me really notice what was going on in there. 

I first saw both the new tenants the day they moved in, although at first I did not recognise Will Graham. He has his hair cut quite short now and has a much fuller beard, and was dressed very smartly in a tailored suit and sunglasses - not the sort of thing he used to wear at all!!!! It was only when I saw Dr. Lecter that I made a POSITIVE ID OF BOTH OF THEM. He looks EXACTLY THE SAME Ms. Lounds!! He has not even grown a beard! I was AMAZED at the audacity!!! Especially as his face is SO DISTINCTIVE.

Please Ms. Lounds, I beseech you to get in touch asap. I have a few photographs of the property but none of the MHs themselves so far, but IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME!!!!

Louise

 

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To: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
From: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
Date: June 16 2016 13:06  
Subject: Murder Husbands - another update!!!!!

 

Dear Ms Lounds,

I hope you are OK? I am starting to get a little worried about you, and hope that the only reason you haven’t yet replied is because you are currently on some deep cover mission. If you get this email I want you to know that I am now 100% CONVINCED that my new neighbours are The Murder Husbands - Will Graham and Dr. Hannibal Lecter!!!

AND HERE’S HOW I KNOW!!!!

OK, yesterday when I got home from school my mom told me earlier in the day she had left the gate open on the side of the house when she put out the trash and Plushie (our Bichon Frise) escaped. When she realised she went looking for him around the neighbourhood and GUESS WHERE SHE FOUND HIM!!!???? My mom said that the bearded man (who told her his name was Sebastian???) was carrying Plushie up the road, looking for our house. She said he told her he was CANADIAN but that he spoke some French, and that he and his HUSBAND Lars (????) are ACADEMICS working on their books or something?? My mom said he seemed really nice and that I should stop staring through their gates and taking pictures of their fountain because people will say I am a homophobe or a neo-nazi or something.

I CAN’T TELL HER THE TRUTH MS LOUNDS!!! AND NOW I AM SCARED MY MOM MIGHT BE RUDE TO THEM AND THEY WILL EAT HER!!

PLEASE RESPOND!

Louise

 

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To: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
From: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
Date: June 17 2016 12:27  
Subject: PICTURES OF THE MURDER HUSBANDS!!!  
Attachments: WG.JPG, WG.JPG, HL.JPG

 

Ms Lounds,

I MANAGED TO TAKE THESE TWO PICTURES TODAY THROUGH THE GATES AS I WAS WALKING PAST!!! I was really careful and made it took like I was talking to a friend on my phone when really I was taking THESE PICTURES!! 

I know you cannot see their faces clearly and they are a bit blurry and Mr. Graham has a hat on and sunglasses and the fountain is in the way, but are they good enough for use in an article do you think???? The one of Dr. Lecter is very blurred I know, but he got into the car pretty fast and I only managed to get his sleeve. You can see his cufflinks though. They look VERY EXPENSIVE TO ME.

Louise

 

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To: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
From: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
Date: June 17 2016 21:02  
Subject: OH SHIT!!!  
  
  
MISS LOUNDS!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! MY MOM SAYS SHE IS GOING TO TAKE OUR NEW NEIGHBOURS ROUND FRESH MADELEINES TOMORROW AS A HOUSE WARMING GIFT!!! HOW CAN I GET HER NOT TO!!!

I’M SCARED! PLEASE RESPOND!

 

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To: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
From: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
Date: June 18 2016 11:03  
Subject: OK I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS IT IS DEFINITELY THEM!!!

  
MS LOUNDS!!!!!! MY MOM TOOK ME WITH HER TODAY AND THE GIRL THAT WORKS FOR THEM TOLD US THEY WEREN’T AT HOME!!! BUT THEY TOTALLY WERE!!

As we left I looked back and I saw Will Graham at the window upstairs looking out and Ms Lounds I THINK HE WAS TOTALLY NAKED!!! I mean, I couldn’t see below the windowsill to know for sure but he had no clothes on his top half at all, and I could see that bone at the top of his hip and he had no pants on I am pretty sure and he looks like he’s been working out a lot, he had like almost a six pack going on. Then another man’s hand (DR LECTERS???) CAME ROUND HIS WAIST!!!!!  
  
I don’t know what happened after that because my mom saw me looking up there and told me off.

Ms. Lounds I am really serious now. I think I can get some photographs worth using. Would you be willing to pay me for them? I don’t need a lot of money but I really want hair extensions for when I go back to school after spring break and they are about 300EUROS for just the basic Remi Cachet ones.

Louise

 

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To: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
From: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
Date: June 20 2016 08:06  
Subject: HELP!!!

  
MISS LOUNDS!!!! MY MOM TOLD ME THIS MORNING THAT PHILLIPE DEGASSE WHO IS A REALLY REALLY RUDE GUY WHO RUNS THE LOCAL DELICATESSEN HAS DISAPPEARED!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE!!!

 

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To: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
From: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
Date: June 20 2016 09:15  
Subject: False Alarm

  
Ms Lounds, 

You can ignore that last email I sent you. Mr DeGasse has just gone to see his sister in Digne. My mom has taken my iPhone away now (she was pretty mad when the police came by earlier) so I am emailing you from my MacBook.

I am going to have to wait till Friday to get my phone back to take some more pictures.

  
Louise

 

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To: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
From: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
Date: June 26 2016 11:17  
Subject: I’M GOING IN!!!

 

Ms Lounds,  
  
OK I got my phone back this morning and I have a really good plan about how to get some really good pictures of the MH for you! After my mom goes out tomorrow I am going to dress up in my old Girl Scout uniform and I will go round there and say that I am selling cookies and that I am currently taking orders for them :D 

If I get the Japanese girl again I will just be super pushy and tell her she needs to buy at least five boxes and that I need cash and so I figure she will definitely have to go back into the house and I will just follow her in and leave my phones running and take film of everything I see.

Wish me luck!!!  
Louise

 

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To: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
From: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
Date: June 26 2016 11:25  
Subject: RE: I’M GOING IN!!!

 

Hi Louise,

  
Sorry I haven’t replied up till now, but you wouldn’t believe the amount of emails I get every day with reported sightings of Lecter and Graham! The information and photos you sent me aren’t really much to go on, but did you say in your last email that there was a Japanese girl working for them?  
  
Perhaps you could give me a call when you have a moment? My number in Washington is: +OO11 202-555-0136  
  


Freddie Lounds

 

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To: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
From: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
Date: June 27 2016 07:40  
Subject: RE: I’M GOING IN!!!

 

Hi Louise,

  
I’m around all morning today - or for the next four hours anyway - if you want to give me a call?  
Or if you want to send me your number I can call you right back?

  
Freddie Lounds

 

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To: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
From: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
Date: June 27 2016 20:15  
Subject: RE: I’M GOING IN!!!

 

Hi Louise :)

I had a tip from my contact at Interpol today that there was a possible sighting of Lecter in Monaco two weeks ago, so I have to say I’m taking your information a little more seriously now!!  
  
And I’d be very happy to pay you $300 towards your extensions!! :) Please do get in touch as soon as you get this email.

Your friend,  
Freddie Lounds

 

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To: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
From: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
Date: June 27 2016 23:08  
Subject: RE: I’M GOING IN!!!

Hi Louise,  
Just checking you got my last email?  
Freddie  
  


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To: louise.draper99@gmail.com  
From: freddie.lounds@tattle-crime.com  
Date: June 28 2016 04:10  
Subject: RE: I’M GOING IN!!!

Hi Louise,  
Just checking you got my email?  
Freddie

**Author's Note:**

> _Like this fic? Please consider commenting on it and making my day! And if you _ **really**_ wanna show some love, come follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Treacle_A) or on my [Tumblr](http://treacle-a.tumblr.com/), where I also makes Hannigram Manips for my [Insta](https://www.instagram.com/hannigrammanips) of the same name!_


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